What is perfection and how do you obtain it? What does perfection mean to you? When you close your eyes and think about the perfect life, what do you see? How can you be the perfect mom?
Well I think that a perfect mom, you are expected to be creative, crafty, able to solve all problems, run the girl scout troop, be up at all hours of the night with the kids yet still wake up before the kids to have that great breakfast on the table to start their day all bright eyed and bushy tailed. That you can turn chicken, ketchup, and milk into a fabulous 3 course healthy meal. Not only running all the kids actives but make all the healthy snacks; from scratch. That you are always the picture perfect ideal of strength and compassion, with a happy face making sure that everything will always turn out ok. All while looking beautiful and put together at any given moment.
To the outside world my family (and I) seem to obtain all of the above. Our friends (more like acquaintances, since our loved ones know the truth) joke about how perfect we are. “Look at the perfect mom, making the rest of us look bad again.” Seems to a favorite. And while this makes me smile to the person saying this, I am inwardly cringing. If only they knew the truth.
So if, I have all those things, if my life looks perfect, then why do I always feel like such a failure all the time. (Perfect example, I hit publish instead of save half way through this post and had to delete it, and remake it lol. Ooops. Sorry to everyone that got an email with this post only to have it NOT actually exist)
I have really been trying to be “perfect mom” and “perfect wife”, but am failing miserably. It seems like I can get my stuff together on one side but then the other side is slacking, then I get the other side back up to a reasonable level but the side that I was doing so well on starts to fall. I picture myself with my hands stretched out, plates on each and all the “job responsibilities” on each. Like I think, most moms feel at some point.
So where did these bars come from? Do they come from TV, from magazines, from ourselves? Or are we just comparing ourselves to the public face we see of others? That our view is so skewed that we can’t possibly live up to our own standards? The answer is I don’t know.
All I know is how I feel and one day I am determined not to feel like a failure. One day I will have it all together.